Everlasting God

Everlasting God ... that is all I can remember from Sunday morning. I can't find the lyrics of the song, but these are the only words that I can remember. These are the words as I walked to work this morning, staring into the sky, taking the moment to marvel at what He so beautifully painted before me.

But not everything translates for some reason. I can feel and I can see the goodness of God around me, yet I am still fearful of certain things. I know Abba Father will be there to lift me up and see me through, but yet these heavy and deep thoughts flood through as a mighty wave breaches the towns gate.

I was sitting there jamming tonight, since I finally have my guitar back, and singing From the Inside Out, over and over again. I can't though, I can't without a heavy heart, I can't without something deep inside wrenching. Right now there is such a mix and turmoil of emotions and thoughts inside me that I shouldn't even be blogging.

I don't like this; I don't like not having peace. It was progressing so nicely, so orderly, why all of a sudden these floods of thoughts that I cannot get rid of. I had given everything that I held in my hand to Him, I had even put a stake there, why am I so troubled now.

I know there's His will, but certain things have me so weighed down I cannot differentiate anything at all. I suppose He is enough, His grace is enough, I've experienced it and I've even exhorted others with it.

Now in the midst of whatever this is, I am desperately holding onto that.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for all He is to me, and all that He has done for me; I guess now, just too many things hitting me at once, even though I really have no right to let out even a peep.

... everlasting God.