Find Me In the River

When God asks you to drop something, He expects you will work to not pick it up again, that in your trust you will leave it at His feet. Sometimes, just sometimes, if you pick it up again, it becomes all the more harder to give up, and perhaps out of His grace and mercy He will choose to snatch it away from you; all part and parcel of His will.

So, today is one of those days that I felt the snatching; not that I didn't know it was coming, I knew it. I just denied it. And it's so hard to give it up now that He, in his grace and mercy has taken it away. Or at least, He has helped me.

After work today, I wanted to go for a walk. And then I got the silly idea to go to the lake and ponder. You have to understand, the lake here, and the lake in Kingston are two different matters entirely. Albeit it was a nice day, so I walked down Erin Mills Pkway and just kept on walking, and walking, and walking.

I walked until I hit the Petro Canada plant, and then the lake. Stopped there, and just sat. I swear I would've yelled, I kinda did, but I didn't want people to come running to my rescue and then get all embarrassed explaining that nothing was wrong. And that was it. I put it down again, and I know it won't be the last of the battle, but I nailed a stake into the ground at the end there. And those of you with whom I've shared the stakes I've put down know they don't fade from memory easily.

I've realized I'm weak; I've realized I need Him as much as my last entry said. I've realized that I am nothing without Him. I've realized that I've been spinning around in circles, and now is a good time to stop.

I don't understand; yet I do.

As I walked back, I pondered even more; crying out and giving everything to Him. Whether He has to snatch it, or whether I lay at His feet willingly.

Echoing loudly as I watched the sun set by the highway were the words:

Find me in the River
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And worn our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the River
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the River
I'm waiting here

All things, all things work for the good of those who love Him.
Here's holding onto that thread of truth...